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LIGHT-HEARTED STORIES ABOUT DATING IN YOUR PERSONAL LIFE: AN ESCORT’S TINDER NIGHTMARES

These can be depressing times; there’s way too much negativity going on. So maybe I should write something a little on the lighter side to give you a smile or two.

What better way to make you smile than telling a handful of Tinder nightmare stories from a Toronto escort’s point of view? (Before I go further, a friend suggested that there are still people out there who don’t know what Tinder is — so I’ll merely say here that it’s an interactive dating app that can work on your mobile phone or your desktop computer.)

OK, that’s out of the way.

And now, so is this: The way I am in the escort world is pretty much how I am in my day-to-day life; I’ve always been pretty open with dates in my personal life about my career. I think it’s incredibly important that they know about my work, and I’m a terrible liar and it would kill me not to be honest. And finally, there’s no way in hell I could have a personal relationship with anyone who did not support sex work and respect my career choice.

So, given all that, I’ll point something out that I think was super interesting when going on dates in my personal life: That the men I dated who had previously taken part in sex services were actually far more judgmental about my work than those who hadn’t.

And for those who didn’t have any experience, their reactions ranged all over the place. I’ve experienced everything from pure fascination and curiosity and absolutely amazement that they could have sex with me for free, to those who freaked out about it afterwards.

I’ve also been treated as though I was my date’s own personal fuck toy with whom they could play out all their kinky fantasies without actually considering my own feelings and boundaries. (God knows, I am sure they all probably told their friends later about going on a date with an escort — after getting checked for STI ’s)

Phone messages I’d like to forget

One date, a pretty successful business guy, refused to believe that my clients were actually really nice people — and would follow up by expressing his worries about STI’s. Can you get anymore cliché?

Let’s just say we went on a few dates and I was treading incredibly lightly not to get in a fight with him… but after a few drinks, my firecracker personality got a bit inflamed with trying to defend both myself and my business. He then went on to ask to meet out again, despite the fact that he didn’t respect what I do and always wanted to argue with me about it.

I decided it was probably for the best if we didn’t see each other again, which lead to him being incredibly shocked that I beat him to the punch considering how successful he was and how low he thought I was. His loss.

One guy — let’s call him “John”— was so intrigued by my career that he thought it completely appropriate to jerk off after I was with a client. He thought the only way for him to accept what I do was to think of it as some sort of cuckold scenario. I think this would have been more appropriate if we’d had actually met each other in person more than once and had actually had some kind of intimate relationship.
Most of our conversations were predominantly via text.

John: Hey did you have a client today?
Me: Yes, he just left.
John: How was it?
Me: Great. He was a nice guy.
John: So what did you do?
Me: The usual.
John: No seriously… what did you do?
Me: We chatted for a bit and yadayadayada.
John: Oh ya? Was it good?
Me: He was great. Definitely would see him again.
John: So tell me for real… in detail..
Me: Listen, I don’t care to discuss in detail. It’s private what we do and not really any of your business.
John: But I think its hot and brings out those desires I have about my ex gkrlfriend cheating on me. It gets me off.
Me: I don’t care to discuss what I do with my clients. Seriously.
John: But how else am I supposed to accept what you do?
Me: …annnnnd this is over.

Tinder: One last really hot date

My final Tinder date I went on was definitely one for the books, because it showed me that you never know how people will really accept or understand you if you work in this industry.

I had really lost hope after all of my bad experiences with Tinder. It seemed like people just saw me as a lay and didn’t want to be involved at all, I suppose because of all the stigma attached to this industry. I really felt like I was giving up, but I gave it one more shot.

I learned how to play my cards right and be sure that I waited to meet this person in real life before disclosing my occupation. I had learned from my previous experiences that being too upfront about what I did for a living led to too much uncertainty about my character.

The stereotype of the Toronto escort business is far too strong to convince someone to date me in text message, so we both agreed to meet quickly. I made sure to explain my work to him, face to face, within the first 10 minutes of our first meeting. His response: “Oh, so you’re like a social worker?”

This was definitely a first and by far the most refreshing response I had ever received. This date was going much better than expected. We proceeded to continue our date for some drinks after dinner.

The conversation was great and I was definitely feeling in the mood. We had long make out sessions in the street, in the cab and in the elevator of my condo. This date was going incredibly well…

Back at my place and he takes a trip to the washroom, and I start cleaning up the piles of laundry all over my floor to look at least a little more presentable. I throw on my best lingerie. I quickly retouch my makeup and hair, and make sure that I am ready for ACTION.

He walks out of the washroom and I surprise him with my lingerie and a passionate kiss. We kiss long and hard for what seemed to feel like forever. His firm arms squeeze me tighter and I feel the warmth of his body and lips against mine. In my mind, I was saying- GAME ON!

Suddenly there’s a halt. I realize he’s just hugging me tightly. The heated moment stops. He looks at me deeply into my eyes, and I can’t help but say: “Are we gonna fuck?”

He giggled and told me: “It’s too soon.” I stood there in disbelief thinking that he was just pulling my leg. A few awkward moments later, I actually realized he was dead serious. He quickly left my place and I was left with a seriously bad case of the female equivalent of blue balls.

Tinder: Fun while it lasted

Tinder was fun while it lasted. I had to call it quits over a year ago, but the legacy of past Tinder romances (or rejections) live on. I still get funny — probably drunken — texts from past Tinder dates. They’ll either ask for late night trysts or sexy photos; I tell them to go to my website and see my rates.

I hope this has brightened your day a little, or even been a little educational. And if you were a Tinder date of mine from the past who’s lurking me now…

Sorry… not sorry!

Lisbeth

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WHAT WOULD LISBETH DO? : ADVICE FROM ONE PROVIDER TO ANOTHER -PART 2

This next piece of advice is one that ladies and clients alike must keep in mind when venturing in this world. Not only have I found that clients have been complete time-wasters, but providers themselves have done it to me as well. As I mentioned in my previous blog- when something seems too good to be true, it probably is. As much as I can let things go a lot better now, there is still apart of me that feels a little shot in the foot when I think about the value of my time. As such, I bring you this next piece of advice that is a bit of a sore spot for anyone in the Toronto escorts industry:

Time is money and YOUR time is Valuable.

I think ladies quickly learn that if a client makes lavish promises, they are likely just fantasizing and probably having a good jerk off session at the computer. If a client books you in advance for an extended period of time, I would suggest asking for a deposit. I think it’s only fair for you to prepare and schedule your time around this client. Clients who are respectful to this rule seriously need to be given a gold medal. I didn’t know this rule when I first started and had plenty of emails that gave me all kinds of false promises and of course they fell through when I went out of my way accommodate them. It’s a pretty shitty feeling to have someone disrespect your time and schedule, and trust me,,, this has happened to me A LOT!

Money comes and money Goes.. Get a proper accountant!

This leads me to my next topic… MONEY. Money comes and goes in this business. Our business fluctuates as the markets fluctuate and when times are tough, I totally get it… its stressful. Probably the most important advice I can give a girl starting out is to: GET A GOOD ACCOUNTANT. I have made a number of terrible decisions when it comes to money and as such, got myself in quite a bit of trouble. Part of the reason for this, was that I trusted the wrong people and was advised in the worst of ways that could have landed me in a worse situation had I not sought out proper financial advise. Again, I should have trusted my gut in this situation. I was incredibly naive to believe particular people had my best interest in mind, but that’s a whole other story. The fact of the matter is, that whether we choose to disclose what we do for a living or not, accountants don’t care how you make your money and most professionals don’t care about it, as long as you PAY. At the end of the day the government doesn’t care either. What we do is totally legal and as long as you pay your taxes, they are happy.

You can make a lot of money in this Escort business, so I would recommend anyone to think strongly about what they do with it. I am totally one to talk. I have made loads of money at one time and then blew it all away trying to keep up a lifestyle I didn’t really care for. In the beginning, I had gotten caught up with friends who chose to live a bougie lifestyle, and live beyond most of their means. I had to realize living that kind of lifestyle is completely empty, heartless and a waste of time and money. In the end, you at least want something to show for the hard work you have done and for all the risk you put yourself in on a daily basis. Spending your money on bottle service at a douchey club, expensive dinners with people who could care less about you or vacations in “exclusive” resorts that are completely cut off from any sort of cultural experience/adventure; these are all things *I* spent a lot of money on last year that I regret terribly. If there is any advice about money I can give, it is definitely from my own personal mistakes: Use your money wisely and do what *YOU* want to do with it, but be SMART with it.

The industry can be a bottomless pit of payments

Another tip I can give a provider is that Toronto escort sites can be a bottomless pit of overpriced advertising, which give little results. You can keep buying into expensive packages, which end up costing way more than you made back. I honestly have found that plugging away for an entire year on advertising alone and shelling out tons of cash definitely may have gotten my name out there, but in terms of actually bringing in the bacon, I think I probably flushed a lot of bacon down the toilet. Ask other provider friends as to what has been effective. I could probably give you a list of effective/not-effective advertising avenues, but in fear of getting virtually slaughtered and for my own safety, I will refrain from mentioning any names. Effective advertising does not necessarily have to be expensive. In fact, a lot of it is FREE.

In addition to advertising, photographs are always a good investment, although I do think that they can be much more economically done. I have no regrets about the money I have spent on the photographs I have, I definitely paid for what I got, but in some sense I feel photography can sometimes be a cash grab as well. I have worked with a number of photographers by now and not all were worth the money I spent. There are plenty of photographers out there who would be more than happy to take photos for free or might even pay you to practice, and I think it is good to explore a variety of styles. Even the crappiest quality of photos taken with your cell phone are incredibly useful and profitable.

Therapy is your friend

I will be first to admit this: Therapy saved me. Taking care of yourself mentally and emotionally is just as important, if not more important than taking care of oneself just physically. As soon as I started keeping it real with the people around me and the professionals in my life about what I do, I finally could deal with all the crap that was going on in my life and getting over the stigma of the industry. Interestingly enough these therapists made me feel and understand the importance of taking care of myself and keeping good people in my life, because things got so out of wack the first year I was in the industry. It was hard to make sense of everything with no one to talk to and without the proper relationships in my life. In my personal experience, having friendships that entirely revolved around the sex industry were incredibly detrimental to my well-being and I needed to have some sort of order and balance in my life to feel like I mattered and that I was worthy of healthy relationships where people didn’t just want to be with me for sexual purposes. While I firmly believe that having friends within the industry is great to talk shop and feel support, I would say it is equally important to have friends outside the industry. I think this industry is incredibly isolating and if your friendships all revolve around the industry, it can be easy to lose sight of the real world, which can then lead to further isolation and at the end of the day we need to have some balance in life to outweigh the craziness that goes on. Having the professionals who respected the industry helped me regain the confidence to do this job and reconfirmed for me that I actually had healthy ethics and morals, despite being in an industry that many see as immoral.

These are just a few major points I would give as advice to new providers. I am sure there is much more that could be added to this list. Again, I give this advice entirely based on my own personal mistakes, which I hope will help those who might be new or grappling with similar issues. I will likely add to this blog at a future date after I make a bunch of other terrible mistakes. Until then, I hope some of what I say is useful to someone out there.

Until next time…..

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WHAT WOULD LISBETH DO? : ADVICE FROM ONE PROVIDER TO ANOTHER -PART 1

Becoming an independent Toronto escort provider is definitely not an easy job. Even more daunting is the ability to last in an industry that’s not considered to be ‘socially acceptable’ — without punishing your liver and brain cells. So, I’d like to share the valuable lessons I’ve learned, and offer some advice to providers who might be starting out, or have been struggling with any of a number of specific issues.

I definitely don’t think of myself as any expert or anything, and I’ll be first to admit that sometimes I have been a complete fuck up and made plenty of really poor decisions. That said, I have seen enough (and experienced enough) both in and out of the industry that I think I might have some useful advice for anyone starting out.

So, first of all, ask yourself these questions:

• What kind of provider do you want to be?
• What are your boundaries or limitations?
• What image or persona do you want to present to clients?

Everyone’s so different and everyone has something to offer. As much as clients vary, so do the women in the Toronto Escorts industry. When I started, I learned that trying to be something I wasn’t was really awkward awkward and strange. My anxiety skyrocketed and I would begin to sweat — I felt I was about to give a big stage performance, and it just wasn’t me. I also found myself in many awkward situations that I definitely didn’t care for. For instance, I sometimes found myself in duos with people I did not feel comfortable with. And domination sessions were sometimes difficult — while it was an interesting experience to turn someone into some sort of animal species and whip the crap out of him, it was definitely way out of my expertise.

The point: When you first start out in this business, it really becomes tricky as to what are you’re okay with — and what you’re not okay with. If you compare yourself to others you read about, meet or work with, you might begin to feel you should offer particular services that you may not actually be comfortable with. Don’t.

My rule: If you’ve never tried it in your personal life, you probably wouldn’t be okay with it in your professional life. Yes, there have been times I’ve tried things out of curiosity in my professional life with someone I was comfortable with, but in general I try to test the waters in my private life first. At the very least I do think that it’s wise to try new things with clients who are regulars, rather than with strangers. You don’t need to do anything you don’t want to do. Pushing your own boundaries will just exhaust you — sex is personal and you need to decide for yourself what is works for you.

Drama doesn’t get you anywhere

The most bizarre dramas can occur in this industry. As messed up as most of the drama is, it all makes some sort of sense. Women are competitive and jealous whether they are in the sex industry or not, and the best advice I can give is pretty simple: Get used to it. Also, don’t let it get to you.

What’s fascinating about much of the drama that goes on is that most of it’s online. Don’t get me wrong, I think online bullying and stalkers are awful, and escort message board moderators need to take it seriously and nip it in the bud. My best advice: Ignore the crap, have a good laugh at it, and it will all blow over sooner than otherwise.

When Vice magazine recently published a piece about escort screening processes — in which I was quoted — some forums had hobbyists in an uproar beyond anything even I could have imagined. I had a number of abusive messages from clients/escorts. In reality, it wasn’t such a big deal at all and I weeded out a whole lot of guys who I probably didn’t want to meet anyways. Not giving a shit really helps. I know times are tough and I know the market is saturated with girls who are hurting for cash, but causing drama doesn’t do any of us any good. Bitching, whining, and back-stabbing helps nothing. And for those of you who are causing online drama, here’s my advice: KNOCK IT OFF!

So, next rule: Trust your gut

For anyone getting into this business, I’d say that most girls you meet (at least who I’ve met) have both feet on the ground, and are really amazing great people. I have met some of the most talented, smart, creative and interesting women ever. But, at the same time, a few of them are sociopaths, psychopaths and narcissists — and a few may be crossing over through all three of these categories.

If something seems weird, you’re probably right. As cliché as it sounds, if something seems too good to be true it probably is. I learned the hard way that as much as I cared about particular friends who I had in this business when I began, I realized they really only cared about themselves. And a couple of providers I’d met in passing, definitely had a few tricks up their sleeve to infiltrate my business and attempt to control me. I learned pretty quickly that allowing other providers to be overly involved in your working life can backfire; you may realize that everything you had been doing was not actually for your benefit at all, it was for others.

There. That’s enough for now. Lessons repeated: Set your own boundaries. Avoid drama. And trust your gut. Next time, let’s talk about MONEY and a variety of other topics I have advice on!

Until next time!
xo Lisbeth

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THE SKY IS THE LIMIT! BUT WHAT ARE THE LIMITS!?: CLIENT/PROVIDER BOUNDARIES

This next blog is definitely a tough one to talk about. BOUNDARIES. What are the rules and boundaries clients and providers should follow in order to maintain an enjoyable experience for both parties involved? How do we know when we may have crossed the line? The question of boundaries is so relative to the individuals and can be a difficult one to comprehend and can be tricky to maintain if boundaries get crossed. Each individual will have their own rules and must decide for themselves what works and doesn’t work for them. I can attest that it is often confusing on both sides, and lines can get a little blurred especially if there is little to no communication about boundaries, whether it be in terms of physical or personal/relationship boundaries.

Creating physical boundaries as a client and Toronto Escort provider are a lot more clearly defined than personal boundaries. Both parties must be aware and clear about what they are getting and receiving in their interaction. As a provider, I believe it is WAY more important to know ones limits and be able to stay firm on those limits for one’s own psychological/physical well being. Knowing ones limits has been an issue for some providers that I have met over the course of my time being an SP, and there are some who may have lost sight of what their boundaries are; whether it be how many clients they should be seeing, how long they are able to see clients and what they do with clients. Even for myself, I have struggled drawing the line in the sand when it came to extended visits with more high maintenance clients, and I now know to really consider if I am able to handle a situation or not. As business owners, we have to call the shots and we make the rules that clients should follow…After all, it is OUR BODY.

As we see particular clients more often than others it may become apparent that sometimes we waver our boundaries or choose to do more with one client than another as we see fit. What one provider may be comfortable with, another may not. I guess that is the beauty of this escort industry. One day you may want to try something a little more kinky than usual, then another day you would rather bathe in something more vanilla. SPs vary from person to person like our clients, and our sexuality is fluid also depending on the day and depending on our comfort and mood. As a Toronto escort provider, I have come to understand that some people you may hit it off physically and mentally, while others you don’t. Neither of you should take this personally. I have experienced plenty of lovely clients who didn’t click with me, while other providers were fabulous with them, and vice versa. It really all depends. As clients, it is best to be open and honest about your boundaries and expectations before getting physical so that you don’t leave disappointed and shall I dare say…leave a crappy review! EEEK!

When it comes to more personal or relationship issues, clients and SPs both vary what they are comfortable sharing or not sharing in their business. I have heard all kinds of stories in this industry about clients crossing over more personable boundaries: Some relationships between clients and providers might be very anonymous with very little known about each other at all and they stick to the matter, while others grow to become full blown romantic relationships, where they become boyfriend and girlfriend (or maybe even husband and wife). In some instances they may become great friends or sexual confidantes. As much as I cannot judge those who cross the relationship lines, however let’s keep it real…this is BUSINESS.. and a very personal business at that. I hate to break any clients’ hearts, but if you think that you are going to become a provider’s boyfriend/girlfriend, the chances are slim to none. If she is leading you to believe there is a chance… I would seriously second guess it. I am not saying I have never met a client who I wouldn’t consider to be a great and wonderful person, but I simply cannot think of them as anymore than a great friend with benefits. I would like to think this is a good thing, since this industry is supposed to be a service or a fantasy for clients and not a situation which may put anyone’s personal life at risk in anyway. For my own respect for the industry as a legitimate business, separating my romantic life from my work life is incredibly important. If a provider/client wants to cross this line, it definitely can get messy and I am sure we have all heard these horror stories both in the industry, the office and other work places.

I think it is truly up to the providers and clients themselves to decide what kind of physical, social and personal boundaries they should cross with each other. It is a really tricky situation when you cross that line of friendship, but I feel monetary exchange should never cheapen our moments together. In fact, if a client is to become friends with their regular service providers, I think it is only to be expected that you take care of them as you would do to any friend. And actually, even better since you share such intimate moments together.

I would like to think that times spent with clients and the exchange of money and/or gifts be a token of mutual respect of each other. Maybe some advice I would give to SPs is to never take their clients’ generosity for granted.This business is not just about taking. All relationships are give and take, including client/provider relationships. It’s never a one way street and providers should not abuse or take advantage of such relationships. We have to show some graciousness for those who take care of us and treat us extra special. Some clients have become dear friends of mine that I hope will be my friends for life and it is entirely up to me to decide what I personally share with them mentally, emotionally or physically. Maybe my way of showing them could be time off the clock or another token of my appreciation. It is entirely up to oneself to decide how to appreciate their clients or when it’s time to cut them loose.

For clients who may not become long term, I can honestly say there are even some that maybe, without even knowing it, had an incredibly positive impact on me personally, just because they were so kind and sweet. Even if I may never have seen them again, their kindness definitely helped me through rough times. I really appreciate meeting anyone who can come see me and other providers and just have a good time. I always try to take care of anyone who I meet to the best to my abilities. And if that meeting were to be just for shits and giggles or a prolonged rendez-vous, I hope that both of us walk away feeling good and that we both want the best for each other in our personal lives. No one needs to feel taken advantage in such intimate situations. I personally never get hung up on whether clients become repeats. I hope they still had a good time and I hope they still continue having enjoyable experiences with other providers in the future should they decide to do so.

I would like to think of providers as being life, relationship, sexual confidantes that can encourage you to have better things in your life, however small or big those particular aspects may be. Whether or not we even get that personal with each other is totally dependent on the situation. But for those I communicate with and see on a regular basis, I definitely hope for only the best of things for them and I hope they would feel the same about myself and any other providers they see. I definitely consider many wonderful clients – Great friends.

I guess this ends another hippie rant from Lisbeth…. I am not sure if what I have written makes any sense to anyone, but hopefully there are some people who may see it this way. For the rest of you, I will have a good chuckle at your criticism and trash talk about my rates…ha ha…

Until next time…

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THE BLOG MOST CLIENTS DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT…PROVIDER PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

This next blog is definitely not spoken about very often and might even be a topic that many girls would avoid. However, for those of you may already follow me on Twitter and read this blog, you may already know that I am not one to really hold back on my opinions. For those clients who want to believe that all of us ladies are fancy free, single and don’t care about our mental well-being at all, I would recommend to stop reading now. This blog is probably way too honest for you to handle and I would never want to jeopardize your sexy fantasies with all those wonderful escort ladies out there. This article is for realistic readers as both providers and clients alike.

As someone who has been in the Toronto Escort industry just a couple years, I can honestly say that it is a difficult world to be on your own. Unfortunately many of us providers are quite isolated from one another and face further complications trying to sustain personal/private relationships in our free time. This job can obviously be incredibly taxing on us emotionally, mentally and physically and without proper stable relationships it can be extremely daunting. It’s an industry that can definitely do your head in if you don’t have anyone who respects your personal boundaries and time. Having the right friendships and partners in our lives can help us sustain ourselves in this industry even longer or at least long enough that we can get out of it feeling positive about our experience. I guess I have learned from the good, bad and the ugly in my own experience, but I hope I can offer some insight to what many providers may have experienced or may need to keep in mind in their own lives so they can make healthy and happy choices for themselves.

One of the most important things I could learn from being in this industry is that it’s incredibly important to know your personal boundaries with both your clients and your personal relationships. I will go more into detail about boundaries with clients in another blog, but I think it’s important to discuss in this context, because I think that providers may need to save certain physical and emotional actions for their own private lives. Whatever these actions may be, some providers may feel better saving certain things for their partners. There are so many unspoken rules and variables between client and provider relations that vary depending on the individuals involved. It is truly difficult to know when to draw the line in the sand, but again I will be discussing this in a later blog.

Due to the nature of this business being sexual and incredibly personal, many women in this industry can often become confused about their own physical and emotional boundaries in their private lives. First and foremost, I can say that entering into this business changed my perspective and my boundaries with people BIG TIME. As I mentioned in a previous blog, I was in the swing lifestyle before, which I can honestly say really started to feel like sexual slavery, as my partner and other partners in the lifestyle made me feel I should feel obligated to give particular sexual experiences, whether I was feeling up to it or not. Suddenly, my sex life outside the business became incredibly important to the point where previous partners who thought they had endless access to sex with both myself and my industry friends whenever they pleased became questioned. I had never felt more threatened by both my previous partners and their spouses to get on board with whatever or with whomever they pleased. After giving so much of yourself to other people, nothing is worse than having your personal relationships guilt and threaten you into situations despite the fact you may have had a rough day or may not feel like doing something crazy and kinky.

It is important for some of us to feel grounded in our personal relationships and simply want to come home to something just boring normal vanilla, especially after a long day of spanking, slapping and sucking. Or maybe we had a long therapy session with someone who has been severely traumatized. Or maybe we had to be ON all day long, that it would be nice to just kick back, watch some TV, smoke a joint and have a laugh. Whatever kind of provider we are, don’t we need balance in our lives?

I am not going to say that every day I have some hectic, intense experience. And I am not going to say that I don’t enjoy these experiences, but nothing is worse than having the people around you in your personal life making you feel guilty or bad about what you do for a living. Especially when it’s something you feel passionate about. There is truly nothing worse than having partners disrespect what you do to the point where you feel so guilty, that you give most of your money or treat them to things whether they be sexual or nonsexual out of feelings of guilt and obligation, because you worked hard all day. At the end of it all, there is nothing left for yourself.

The importance of having time for yourself and the personal relationships you have as a provider are so crucial to feeling supportive in this industry. For myself personally, it has been a serious struggle and maybe that is why I decided to speak out about it today. I hope that other girls will take my advice, as I know how difficult it can be to balance yourself in a world that doesn’t necessarily have the full support of not just mainstream society, but those within the system. There really are no rules in the escort world. We make our own and struggle between understanding what is right or wrong for ourselves. I hope many know how to create their own social world that will fulfill them emotionally so that they can feel the support they need to keep going in this business. It is a wonderful world that we all deep down love, but if we don’t have the support to take care of ourselves first, it’s easy to get lost in it all.

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LISBETH NOVA’S RECAP OF 2015

2015 marked the end of a lot of many chapters in my life and the beginning of many new adventures. I had some of the greatest encounters with ladies and clients and was able to go on a number of interesting tours both across the country and the U.S. Taking the Love Jones parties to Calgary and Vancouver was fantastic! Both parties were definitely stamped into my memory as being some of the sexiest times of the year. I also had a quick tour of Halifax which was not as successful as hoped, but I enjoyed the endless amount of seafood nonetheless and east-coasters are always so nice. I enjoyed myself in all of these wonderful places and hope to definitely return to at least some of them in the New Year, while also touring much more internationally. New York, London, LA, and Tokyo are all on my ‘to do’ list in 2016!

This past year was also a drastic shift in my personal and business relationships. I was very fortunate to meet so many lovely escort ladies in this industry and I realized just how many great ladies Toronto has! It is also not just the ladies who have been so awesome, but the community with the clients has had quite an effect on the success of many ladies. I was lucky enough to be introduced to such amazing ladies through clients, which I could never be more thankful. In such a dog-eat-dog-world, it is truly the community we have made though such sites as Twitter, CAERF, Lyla, and After6ix which I can owe my successes in this business this past year. Thank you guys for creating the space for us all to connect. Thank you CAERF for throwing a great Christmas party this year!

So bring on 2016! As my final year in the industry, I have been compiling my ‘to do’ list for the year and it is quite extensive! I hope to see many more of you sexy ladies and gents in 2016!

Happy Holidays and Best Wishes To All My Lovers Out There!
xo
Lisbeth

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WOMEN CAN BE THEIR OWN WORST ENEMIES…LET’S CHANGE THIS!

Working in such a competitive market like the sex industry, it is difficult to stay clear of some of the drama, bitchiness and gossip that comes with the territory. Gossip is only natural no matter where you work and I do not believe that gossip is necessarily a bad thing. However, it can often be used as a weapon to tear others down out of feelings of jealousy and competition. I try my hardest to not be competitive of others in this industry, because I firmly believe that everyone has something special to offer and that sometimes one client may be better suited with a particular personality than another. Sometimes a client may be looking for a particular personality that they feel would be more attractive and suitable for them. There is something out there for everyone. I have met some incredible women in this industry who are far more talented at dealing with particular clients than others, which is why it is truly a waste of one’s own time to be fussing about being better than this girl or that girl. The last thing sex workers need is to be fighting against one another. After-all, we are battling the same discrimination and judgment from the world around us and have to struggle enough living our regular lives hiding in the shadows from family, friends and maybe employers.

In looking back to when I worked in an office, the gossip seemed extremely petty especially when comparing to what sex workers have to deal with on a daily basis. However, I would say that women in offices were actually so incredibly brutal to each other that I witnessed a number of women in tears regularly, taking sick leave due to mental health issues and long meetings with HR trying to either voice a complaint or defend themselves from accusations. The bullying and passive aggressiveness working in an office actually makes being a sex worker not seem so bad since we don’t really have to see each other on a daily basis. And let’s face it, we have bigger things to worry about than fighting over someone eating all the leftovers in the lunch room or taking all the business envelopes. I’d like to say we fight over cocks and titties, but I am sure most women really don’t mind sharing.. Hell, most ladies I know love it!

As a collective, women in this industry really need to come together in support of one another for our safety and stability in our every day lives. It is problematic that there is not only a distinct barrier created between women in the general population and sex workers, but also a hierarchy or barrier created between all sex workers themselves. Women who are strippers will judge those who escort or do porn. Women in porn will judge those who escort. Women who escort will judge those who do anything they do not see as the norm. And women in the general population will just judge anyone in the sex industry period. Although I would like to think that this is changing. Men equally judge, even if they have sought out such services.

As hippie-dippie as this all sounds, I think this world could be a much better place if women just knew how to get along with each other, whether that is in this industry or not. Too often media interpretations of women pin each other against one another and it truly is not an attractive quality in anyone. Not to brag or anything, but I feel pretty privileged to be associated with such sexy ladies both professionally and personally. Seeing the reaction to my sexy friends makes me so proud! Not only are they beautiful ladies, but they are coupled with such cool personalities which adds even more to their gorgeousness. Lucky me!

In an industry that is highly competitive on such a personal and physical level, it is super difficult to not get caught up in the cycle of hate and jealousy. I have met some amazing ladies in this industry who are extremely talented at what they do and I admire all of them for their talents, brains and beauty. Every one of them has something very unique to offer, which is why I think this industry is super fascinating and will always promote those who I think deserve to be known. I am usually not wrong about my selection of amazing Toronto Escort providers. All I can do is accept who I am as a provider and learn from those who exude qualities and skills I find incredibly attractive. After all, imitation is the best form of flattery.

Dedicated to all the lovely providers out there! Check out some of my colleagues on my website or please contact me if you are curious about some of my friends from twitter!
xo
Lisbeth

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CHICKEN SOUP FOR A SEX WORKER’S SOUL: AN ODE TO AMAZING CLIENTS

It will be 2 years in March since I first began my career as a professional companion/service provider/adult entertainer/sex worker, (whatever title you would like to give it). It had been an incredibly tumultuous time in my personal life. No it wasn’t anything like “daddy issues” or any other typical stereotypes that get attached to this line of work. I was working a normal 9 to 5 office job, getting paid barely enough to get by and consistently butting heads with a boss who treated me horribly. While pushing papers and pretending to actually work [checking Twitter and client emails], I knew that I was just another cog in the wheel. I didn’t matter and I was replaceable. The stresses and strains of trying to make ends meet working a “normal job” while also having a personal relationship with a partner (who was not sophisticated enough to handle a lady in this industry), took a serious toll on me. Coming to terms with the job and having this particular person in my life made it incredibly difficult to function daily and I was constantly made to feel guilty about my very well-thought-out choice to enter into this industry.

Professionally, however, my life drastically contradicted what was going on in my personal life. Clients were treating me very well, beyond what I ever could imagine or have ever experienced. In fact, how well I was being treated by clients began to really reflect how poorly I was being treated before and during the beginning of my time in the escort industry. Gradually, I started to realize how important I was, how special I was and how happy I made some of my clients feel, and their gratitude for my company, friendship and intimacy really got me through the toughest of times. To this day, I am blown away by their graciousness, whether it be taking me out for a wonderful meal, showering me in lavish gifts, dressing me in sexy lingerie or even writing me a sweet email to say how great of a time they had; it all means a lot and really helped me push through the discrimination that both my partner and society challenged me with on a day to day basis.

In a society that both loves and hates the sex industry, it can become a roller coaster to feel confident in doing what we believe in and to do this work without the tender loving care from our clients. Even better is if we can find a partner in our personal lives that can deal with it. But that is a whole other blog I will have to address at some point. Many outsiders to this world, (and maybe even those on the inside), may think that this industry is ONLY to do with sex. Don’t get me wrong it’s a very important part of it, but there really is so much more involved. Clients will not be named in this blog of course, but some of the incredible things I have experienced have seriously made my dreams come true, not just by the amazing intimate moments I have had with them in the bed room, hotel room, and various other rooms. The surprising moments have been none stop. Everything from Agent Provocateur lingerie, to concert tickets to see some of the legends like Madonna and members of the Beatles, to surprise visits in swanky upscale condos with all my favourite sexy lady friends in the industry! And believe it or not… I was even lucky to meet my hero Buck Angel who was requested by a client to hang with me for a whole weekend! It’s all unbelievable, but definitely not expected. I am also grateful for a simple kind word after we have our moment together, and if you make me laugh, even better!

Through many of my client’s generous actions, I can never be more grateful. Their kindness had gotten me through those times when I wanted to give up or had no confidence about the work I was doing. My battle to stick in the industry I can seriously give thanks to the clients and friends I have made and I hope that other sex workers feel the same. The generosity of our clients helps us stay focused in what we do best,,,,,,,FUCK LIKE A PORN STAR!!! Hahaha.. okay sorry I had to end that paragraph with something funny because this blog was ending up to be way too sappy for comfort, my vagina was seriously starting to get bigger. But you get my point.

Smooches! Love you all!
Lisbeth

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Big Red Dong: My First Experience Making A Porn

I figured I would make this blog a little less serious than the first so that people don’t think that I have a vagina made of sandpaper. I really have a ridiculous sense of humour and I definitely don’t take myself too seriously.. in fact I think most of my life is more like a sluttier version of Seinfeld or maybe an episode of Friends except everyone starts shagging each other on the couch. I am sure there is a porn already made based on both shows. If so, please email them to me!

So this is a great lead in to my blog today: My first experience making a porn. As many of you may have already watched a sexy erotic film, Girls Night, featured on the lovely Veronica Sway’s website. Please watch it now for the low cost of just $10.00! *SHAMELESS PLUGGING HERE*. The film features two of my great friends and Love Jones partners, Veronica Sway and Miss Jada Valdez and filmed by the talented MFILMS110 Production Company. Both of these Sexy Toronto Escorts are two of my fave gals in the biz and since we all have so much experience playing together already, it made my experience filming the porn quite easy to get into!

The premise of the film is the lovely Veronica and I are having a ‘girls night’ watching girl on girl porn on our laptops while curing our hangovers from a wild night before. As we sip our cocktails and joke around, our sexual playful energies start to get us in the mood. Veronica and I have always had amazing chemistry even before I entered the industry, so while the camera was rolling I totally get lost in a long sensual kiss with her. Little did we know that someone appears to be spying on us,, which appears to be the sultry Miss Jada who is touching herself while she watches us play. It isn’t too long until she decides to join in…

I won’t be a total spoiler for those who have not seen it yet, but for those of you who have there are probably a few things that I should address that were absolutely hilarious about my role in this film…

So as most of you know I try to hide my identity as much as possible… I would love to show my face like Veronica and Jada, however I am pretty sure most of you enjoyed looking at my chocolate starfish instead, haha. I have actually begun to not even recognize myself in regular vanilla pictures anymore, because I am so used to my head shot being more of an ass shot. When clients meet me I will have to introduce myself ass first from now on.
Many people often ask me if I am worried about having my most intimate parts exposed to the world to see for the rest of my life…I am pretty sure I decided a LONG time ago that I wasn’t going to be running for prime minister, but now that I really think about it I probably should, because most politicians are all assholes anyways. At least mine looks nice. I have to say seeing this film and seeing myself from such angles and from the viewers’ perspective, made me almost proud that I have the asshole and vagina that I was born with. I was always self conscious about my asshole in the past, but I have had great feedback from viewers and it’s been nothing but positive butt hole loving! At least I have some kind of memento to look back on when I am old as dirt and show my grand kids that their granny had one hell of a derriere!

When watching most porn, we all question how much of the performance is real and when they are faking it. It’s usually pretty obvious when things are overly staged. With mainstream porn I can imagine that it is difficult to really get into things when you have a large crew and a creepy director telling you play by play what you should be doing. In Girls Night, we tried to make it look as natural as possible with longer takes and the instructions from MFILMS110 head director allowing us to go with the flow and do whatever seemed natural to us. Only a few times did we have to stop and retake, but working with a such a smart and talented female director made it comfortable to let go… and let go I did in part 2 with the assistance of Miss Jada’s professional  Toronto Escort lady pleasing skills!

Intimate partners who have had the pleasure of giving me ,,,, pleasure, will know that when I bust a nut, I almost always get the post-cum munchies… but the show must go on and there really wasn’t time to stop for a sandwich. The final scene would involve me watching Veronica and Jada go at it. Miss Jada always has a quite a few tricks for the trade and probably the biggest selection of dildos and vibrators that I have ever seen. After having the biggest cum of my life and having worked up quite the appetite, my mind went into a very simplistic mode of choosing the first dildo that caught my eye. Basically my choice in tools ended up looking a little like Ronald McDonald’s donkey dick, because McDonald’s was probably the only thing I could think of at this point. I clearly was fixated on the brightly coloured firetruck red dong, which I thought would feed me quite nicely but not in the way I really needed at the time. For those of you have seen the film, the big red dong was clearly way too big for my tiny petunia… and as you all could see it was definitely a struggle to get in there… I was kind of laughing on the inside, but my hunger overpowered the humour of the situation and at that point I was just waiting for the scene to be over so I can get a sandwich.

There is no doubt in my mind that porn is not an easy job… I can’t even imagine how male porn stars do it! I was lucky enough to have wonderful co-stars and a great director that made the experience a hell of a lot easier than the stuff you see out of Hollywood. I am proud of the porn Girls Night in the fact it stars an all female cast who genuinely love being together and filmed by a woman who knows exactly what the adult film industry needs more of, which is less degrading and violent images, with real women who enjoy women and an artistic beautiful perspective that would be appealing for both sexes. I would also add that the big red dong adds a comical twist to the whole experience. I am looking forward to seeing how our films progress! So stay tuned for more videos from us industry girls! We are currently in the process of making more!

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The Dark Side Of Swinging… A Former Swinger Turned Provider’s View

About 3 years ago before I decided to become an SP, I began to explore the swinging lifestyle as a Unicorn (single female). As you can imagine, single females have their pick of the litter and pretty much everyone wants you just like any other rare mythological creature out there. It was exciting and fun. I realized I genuinely really love being with couples, men and women alike. Coming out of a very sexless long term relationship, the swing lifestyle was exactly what I was looking for and it really helped me discover my own sexuality and liberate myself from the rigid and torturous ideal that we all must be in monogamous relationships. Whenever I met couples that seemed healthy and happy, I admired their ability to overcome jealousy and possessiveness, which permeated most relationships. What a liberating idea it was to be able to express yourself sexually with many different partners of both sexes and still have the kind of bond and love between partners.

Here’s the thing that people need to know; Everything I said in the above paragraph is true… but only for the lucky few who it really works for… the likelihood that you can continue in the lifestyle consistently and regularly for a long period of time is slim to none. Eventually, either you or your partner is going to have a seriously shitty experience and be completely turned off. Here are the things that I found in the swing scene that totally turned me off.

1. Partners not being on the same page.

Meeting numerous couples, I began to really see how they varied from couple to couple. All had different rules and expectations. But the worst thing I came across was a lot of reluctant girlfriends/wives who were really only doing this for their husbands sake. The worst thing ever is knowing this woman is not really into girls but is feeling like she has to go along with this for her partner. As a 3rd girl joining in… I knew to tread lightly at first and that any sign of jealousy or disagreement between them meant run the hell away!
Secondly, when I did bring a male partner with me, he would get so carried away, I was left on the sidelines just watching or stuck with a guy who I definitely had no interest in at all. It was very unlikely I would ever meet a couple with my partner who we both liked the other couple equally. Basically I would feel obligated to take one for the team, and I refuse to ever do that… unless I am getting paid as female escort!

2. Drama & Gossip

This pretty much goes along with number 1 and of course is to be expected when you are dealing with straight couples in a taboo lifestyle. Again everyone has their own rules and expectations and sometimes these rules get broken a bit and one partner might feel disrespected or become jealous if they do not feel the situation to be fair. The general first golden rule to swinging is to never use this lifestyle to “fix” your relationship. Without the proper communication and boundaries set between the couples, there is always a chance that things can blow up in your face. There have been plenty of relationships that end quite soon after exploring this world.
I will also add another personal account of when gossip became extremely apparent and very disturbing to me. I started to get invited to these private swing parties at various condos. There was one particular couple there that definitely shouldnt have because they purposely loved spreading rumours and turning people against one another. I became extremely disturbed to find text messages on my phone the day after the party with that same couple reciting all the sexual acts I performed and with whom I did things with. How creepy is that!?

3. DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS!!!

Lastly, I would warn anyone getting involved into the scene to be aware how drug fueled these events usually are. I have gone to parties where everyone is on MDMA and feeling all lovey dovey, but there isnt a single hardon in the room because the guys cant get it up! I have often had to supply viagara to help these poor boys out, but even then they would have difficulty not just with their boners but paying attention to what the hell was going on. Nothing is as big of a turn off when everyone’s pupils are dilated and look like gigantic black holes and their eyes are rolling in the back of their heads. Along with MDMA, people are often doing coke and GHB amongst other things I am sure. GHB is the date rape drug and I won’t lie when I say that it makes people super horny and more likely to end up doing something with someone they really didn’t want to. I once saw this young girl at some parties who was always so high she could hardly communicate and 2 guys were just pummeling her. Whether she would have done that sober… I highly doubt it. Too often things happened in intoxicated states that began to feel like women were being sexually exploited at these parties. What once was a liberating and free experience… started to feel like sexual abuse.

I will end this blog by stating that I learned a lot about the swing lifestyle and probably would not have become an SP had I not entered into that world. However, being an SP is far more fulfilling and way more empowering than being in the swing scene. I find that I get treated with a lot more respect by clients and I have never felt like I was being exploited. Being able to compare the two worlds, one cannot help but be completely turned off by swing events. Why would I want to feel pressured to have sex with people I don’t even enjoy and I don’t get paid, when meanwhile I enjoy my work and get paid and have fun with some of the sexiest girls ever at the LJX parties! This choice is very easy for me to make!

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